We are Filipinos, we can't take jokes!!!

Will the world never learn? Filipinos are happy people, we often smile and laugh, but never, ever say anything against us... we won't like it. We cannot take jokes. We do not appreciate satire.

American actress Claire Danes said that Manila is dirty and full of rats. We banned her movies and declared her a persona non grata. Teri Hatcher in the US series "Desperate Housewives" quipped about Filipino doctors with fake diplomas. We demanded apology and the deletion of the scene. British Broadcasting Company (BBC) aired in one of its channels a comedy show where a Filipina maid was coaxed to have sex with a British man. We demanded apology and asked for the deletion of the scene.

And now, a Hong Kong-Chinese wrote a satirical article in Hong Kong Magazine regarding the  brewing territorial war between China and the Philippines over the Spratly Group of Islands. He wrote that the Philippines is a "nation of servants" (read the full article here).

We felt insulted and demanded an apology. The article was removed from the publisher's website while the publisher gave a non-apology apology:

"The publisher and editors of HK Magazine wish to apologize unreservedly for any offense that may have been caused by Chip Tsao's column dated March 27... One aspect of satire is that it can at times be read in different ways. In this particular case, many people have read meanings unto this column that were never actually intended."  (read the complete apology here)

Here are the ironies highlighted by Mr. Tsao. First, his domestic helper is a graduate of University of Manila. In other countries, "University" plus name of capital is reserved for the leading or most prestigious university in the country. Like University of Tokyo or University of Paris. In the Philippines, University of Manila is not even included in the top-5 universities. Whether Mr. Tsao knows that or do not, I am not sure. But any casual observer can misinterpret that a graduate of University of Manila is among the country's best and brightest.

Second, her domestic helper has a college degree in International Politics. To clarify things, University of Manila does not offer International Politics, the closest they have is BA major in Political Science (according to wikipedia, their website is blank). The main issue is that a lot of Filipina domestic helpers in Hon Kong are college graduates. They may seem overqualified for the job but I am not really so sure. This highlights serious problems with our educational system and the availability of jobs for college graduates in the Philippines.

Third, the article highlights the sad state of our Navy and Military. I think the main point of the article is to mock the might (or lack of it) of our military. Mr. Tsao wrote "she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings."

While Filipinos all over the world have the right to feel offended and get angry at Mr. Tsao's article, there are several issues I have to raise.

First, newspapers and media reports wrongfully translated "nation of servants" into  "bayan ng mga alipin."  Alipin is translated into English as slave, a servant is literally translated as tagapag-silbi or katulong. I'll be offended if I was called a slave, but with servant, I am not sure. However, I remember that Congress already outlawed the use of the term "katulong" and we now call them "kasambahay" or "housemate". Will Mr. Tsao be considered less racist if he calls us a "nation of housemates"?

Second, whenever issues like these are raised with sign online petitions and demand apologies from the people who offended us. But we never look at ourselves and demand apology from our leaders and ourselves.

After we banned Claire Danes from our country and our cinemas, have we made Manila cleaner and less rat-infested?

After we got the producers of Desperate Housewives to delete that scene about Filipino doctors, have we forced Recto University out of business? We have cleansed our country of fake diplomas and transcripts of record?

After we got an apology from BBC,  have we ensured that no Filipino will ever be subjected to human trafficking, illegal prostitution and/or abuse? Have we increased the level of protection for our Filipino workers regardless of occupation?

The answers are No, No, No, No and No. We should start demanding for an apology from our leaders for allowing us to become the butt of jokes around the world. After an apology, we should demand action so that this will never happen again. Not by censoring all the jokes and references to us, but by improving our conditions and sending the right signal to the world!

Now, regarding Mr. Tsao's alleged racism let me leave you lines from a song from Tony-Award winning musical Avenue Q:

Ethnic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!

If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.

Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!!

10 million votes to elect Panlilio and Padaca in 2010

A major concern for people who expressed their excitement in news regarding the possible candidacy of Among Ed Panlilio and Grace Padaca in 2010 is their ability to win.

Some (or most) people only vote for winners. Regardless of principle, political stand or affiliation, they would never vote for a loser (or a probable loser). There is a certain level of pride when you can tell yourself that you voted for the person who won.

This mentality is very alarming. It leads to self-fulfilling prophecies. If everybody (or the majority or plurality in an election) thinks the a candidate will lose, then, no one will vote for that person, and he will definitely lose. This mentality also re-enforces the need for early campaigning and expensive media campaign, the same expensive campaigning that leads to a circle of corruption and vote buying. I hope that there will come a time that people will feel prouder when they vote for a candidate with principles no matter what.

This leads me to a crude analysis on voters decide and how elections are won in the Philippines.

FOUR GROUPS OF VOTERS
Sadly, up to 40% of votes cast are sold (the sold vote) and can be bought by the highest bidder. This can be done through direct vote buying or through organized vote buying. Direct vote buying involves giving cash, groceries, rice and other goods to registered voters. Organized vote buying involves talking to the leader of an organization, group or company. Money and/or favor is negotiated between  the leaders, and the followers vote whoever the leader dictates. The leader can be a local political leader, a union leader, an elder in the community or the head of the household.

Around 30% of the vote goes to the popular candidate ( the popular vote). Popularity may be based on different factors such as looks, gender, box-office performance, links to celebrities and other politicians, etc. Some people vote for candidates with the best campaign slogan, the prettiest or largest campaign poster, or name that is easiest to recall (hence the proliferation two-letter-named-candidates in Quezon City). Rumors can easily sway the popular vote to and from the candidates.

Only around 25% of votes can be considered as the thinking vote. Voters who thoroughly assess each and every candidate's platform, track record and political stand. Most of the thinking votes go to the least evil, after finding all candidates imperfect.

The remaining  5% of votes are cast by religious blocks.I am not sure how the religious leader decides on who his or her flock should vote. Five percent might be very small but it can decide a close race. 

CAVEATS. 
1. People can easily move from one category to the other. Some members of religious groups that practices block voting tend not to vote at all if they really cannot accept their leader's anointed candidate. Some people vote for the popular candidate even if they have sold their votes. Some people will vote for the person they really like and accept payment for the vote (iboboto ko din naman talaga sya, bonus na yung pera).

2. It is very hard to discern between the popular vote and the thinking vote. Some people may cite certain profound reasons for voting for a certain candidate, but deep inside, they vote for him because he is cute. Or the other way around, "I don't like him because of his stand on nuclear power, but really, it is just his hair style that I cannot stand."

3. The grouping of voters I presented knows no income classes, educational attainment or religious beliefs. Contrary to popular belief, you can buy the votes of rich people, you just have to pay a higher price. Not all people with college and graduate degrees vote intelligently, some vote with their religion others vote with popularity.

When making their political strategy, most politicians and their advisers consider all the groups. Politics and elections are all about addition; a candidate must be able to get some or all of each group in order to win.

In a crowded race like the coming 2010 elections, a candidate can win by as small as 20% of the vote (In 1992, Ramos won 23.6% of votes with a margin of around 875,000). There are around 45 million registered voters for the coming election, the winning candidate must get at least 10 million votes. 

And this is the tricky part in the campaign of Among Ed and Grace. They can get some of the thinking vote, some of the popular vote but definitely none of the sold vote and the religious block vote.

The hope is that the wealthy candidates (those with a war chest of PhP2 billion or more) will outbid each other and divide evenly among themselves the sold votes (40% of 45 million = 18 million sold votes divided by 4 rich candidates = 4.5 million votes each). Since these wealthy candidates are also popular, the hope is that they also divide the non-thinking popular votes (30% of 45 million = 13.5 million popular votes divided by 4 celebrity candidates = 3.375 million votes each). A rich, celebrity-type candidate can get around 8 million votes, still shy of the 10 million needed to win.

This is meant to bring good news to supporters of Panlilio- Padaca tandem. It means that by targeting 10 million thinking voters, Panlilio and Padaca can win. There is also a very strong need to convert as many voters possible from a sold voter or popular voter to a thinking candidate.

The campaign for Governors Panlilio and Padaca will never be easy, but stakes are very high and we cannot afford another corrupt and incompetent leader. We owe it to ourselves and the future generation!

Panlilio-Padaca 2010

Even if the presidential election is more than a year away, I am already announcing my support for Among Ed Panlilio and Grace Padaca (or whomever they will support in 2010). 

Previously, I have told several of my friends and colleagues that among those who have announced their intention to run for president I am likely to vote for Bayani Fernando. He has very good executive experience and a practical, can-do attitude. It seems then that he is the least among evils. I was likely to vote for him but not support and/or campaign for him.

The news about the possibility that Pampanga Governor Panlilio and Isabela Governor Padaca teaming up in 2010 brought mixed emotions. It raised my hopes up, but I fear for their safety. I imagine the groundswell of support from the grassroots and the possibility of disappointment if they lose. I have anticipated all the criticisms to be launched, character assassinations, mud slinging and all the dirty tricks than any one can think off.

Right now, the traditional political elite are cooking up plans to sabotage their campaign. Expect any or all of the following.
1. Among Ed and/or Grace Padaca have illegitimate children (this is a big issue because Among Ed is a priest while Grace is unmarried)
2. Among Ed and/or Grace Padaca had an affair with someone
3. Among Ed and/or Grace Padaca are secret NPA members or at least supported by the NPA
4. Among Ed and/or Grace Padaca are disabled hence incapable of leading (Among Ed has a skin disorder wile Grace was a polio victim. This criticism sounds stupid, biased and unfair, but their critics have no sens of fairness).
5. Among Ed and/or Grace Padaca are as corrupt as any other politician.

It will be an uphill battle and my stomach will probably turn every time I hear politicians launch any of the attacks against them. Please support them also, but please prepare for the worst.

Real Men and Crying Men

While watching the news last night, I saw two commercials by Colt 45, a strong beer distributed by Asia Brewery Inc. They market the beer as "The STRONG BEER for REAL MEN."

COMMERCIAL 1. A group of "real men" are talking about an approaching girl in a swimsuit. They are generally talking about how sexy she is when one of the "real men" started talking about fashion... how her swimsuit does not match her. This not-real man was crushed by a bottle of Colt 45 with a voice over saying "real men should act like real men."

COMMERCIAL 2. A group of "real men" are watching basketball on TV. One of them receives a call in his cell phone. He promptly goes out to the lobby and tells her girlfriend mushy nothings like "I miss you na." This not-real man was crushed by a bottle of Colt 45 with a voice over saying "real men should act like real men."

I am not really a big fan of stereotypes of what a real man is. And I am definitely not a big fan of liquor (inuming nakalalasing), I can't barely finish a bottle of San Mig Light. However, there is something in the commercial that really ticked me off.

Perhaps it is their idea of what a real man is. What was clearly shown in their commercials clearly is that a real man drinks a strong beer (Colt 45), has huge muscles,  watches basketball games with their buddies and 'appreciate' sexy women wearing swimsuit. What they are implying is that real men do not talk about fashion (at least not in front of other real men) and do not tell their significant others that they miss them (even if he is not in front of other real men). The extreme interpretation of the ad is that real men are not in touch with their emotions.

Whenever I hear stereotypes about real men and men in general, I remember the story by my Sikolohiyang Pilipino teacher. A girl wanted a strong, silent-type guy for a husband. She ended up marrying someone who beats her without even telling her why. It may be a bit extreme, but I don't think any of my friends and colleagues would want a partner or a husband based on Colt 45's concept of a real men.

The other possible reason why the commercials annoyed is the disconnect with the current political and social realities. Women, I believe, appreciate men in touch with their emotions. Nobody takes the most insensitive (and chauvinistic) man in the office seriously. They are often viewed as empty-headed jerks gloating about their imaginary love affairs.

Men crying in public are not seen as weak, but men who are brave enough to show their true emotions. They won admiration for revealing that they are real humans with feelings. A lot of men admitted in public that they cried when Obama won as president. The very long  list included Gen. Colin Powell and Will Smith. I was teary-eyed when I was listening to Obama's Victory Speech.

Here in the Philippines, ZTE whistle-blower Jun Lozada cried in public while talking about the pains he and his family suffered when he exposed an anomalous government contract. (Lozada's former-sidekick-turned-accuser also cried in public while trying to convince people that Lozada is also a crook, he was largely dismissed.)

Crying men also won praise (and votes). Obama cried in public when he talked about the death of his grandmother. Biden choked up while talking about the accident that killed his wife and daughter and almost killed his two sons. In the Philippines, former Senator Franklin Drilon cried when the Senate voted to prevent the opening of the second envelope during Erap's impeachment trial. He was soundly re-elected.

The next time I see that Colt 45 ad, I'll probably just dismiss it (together with the other ads based on stereotypes). It is highly unlikely that I'll buy their product to show people that I am a real man. I don't have to prove anything.

One of the greatest advices I received in life was this "Boys don't cry, real men do."
 

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Chicken-Pork Adobo in Jollibee Hong Kong

After two days of eating 'real' Chinese and Western food, we suddenly missed Filipino food. And when accidentally found Jollibee Hong Kong near the Central MTR Station (near exit C), we made sure that we will eat there the following day.

To my surprise, they serve Chicken-Pork Adobo there. Not as good as what you can buy from a Jollijeep in Makati but good enough for our craving for authentic Filipino food. Of course, they serve Chickenjoy. Most Filipinos in Hong Kong order a two-piece Chickenjoy, and when the cashier was serving a freshly cooked piece, she quipped "ang bango talaga ng manok!" 

The best thing about Chickenjoy is that it is served with gravy. We ate at Mc Donald's and they do not serve gravy, only a sweet and sour sauce that they call Thai sauce. Mc Do HK also serves Mc Shaker Fries with either seaweed or salt and pepper.

Throughout our trip, we met a lot of Filipinos. Their stories were really interesting and meeting them makes you proud of being a Filipino. It also helps that I really look like a Filipino (Carol was often mistaken as a Chinese), that fellow Filipinos reply to me in Tagalog. Filipinos in Hong Kong and Macau were very helpful, they find it a pleasure to help other Filipinos who were lost or in need of assistance. Here are some of our/their stories.

1. We were searching for the St. Joseph's Church, it is near the Peak Terminal and the St. John's Cathedral w/c is an Anglican Church. We were already five minutes late for the mass and we were lost. We asked two Filipinas who walked past us and they replied, "Magsisimba din ba kayo? Dun kami papunta." Thank God. About 90% of churchgoers in that church are Filipinos, the priest and the choir are also Filipinos. One thing about Filipinos, we never lose our faith.

2. Our hotel booking did not include breakfast. When we saw that our hotel serves breakfast for only HK$22 (around PhP150), I thought it was a bargain since a budgeted HK$50 for every meal. At the dining room, we were greeted by a group of Filipino tourist. They informed us that whatever we see on the buffet table was already everything. The picture was really deceiving. Pinoy Guy 1 told us that they have been eating the same food for the past three days. The food is really disappointing. They serve spaghetti with pork and beans (straight from the can) and bread straight from packaging.

Pinoy Guy 1 said that since they are leaving early the following morning and breakfast is not served until 8 am, they are giving us their breakfast stubs. We hesitated a bit (Pinoy nga naman, kunyari sa una nahihiya, tatangi), but we eventually took it (mas nakakahiya na tanggihan). Sayang nga naman ung breakfast (SAYANG: the great Filipino word without a direct English counterpart). To our surprise one more, breakfasts on a Sunday are different... there are more and better choices (but still served straight from the can, bottle or whatever packaging they come with). It is twice more expensive if you pay for it but we got for free, thank God once more.  Another thing about Filipinos, we are generous givers and we always value scarce resources (Sinusulit ang mga libreng bagay).

3. Jollibee Hong Kong is more than just a Filipino restaurant. It is a comfort zone for Pinoys, a networking and socializing area, a place to find job openings or vacant bed spaces, a place for Filipinos to feel at home right at the heart of Hong Kong. Right next to Jollibee HK is Little Quiapo, next to it is a remittance center were we found the best exchange rate (US$1 = HK$7.65), near that is Banco de Oro, and at the street next to all of it is the place where Balikbayan boxes to and from the Philippines are delivered/ picked-up. 

Most of the crew in Jollibee HK are Pinoys, including the aforementioned cashier, the store manager and the janitress who were scolding other Pinays for spilling Pepsi (they serve Pepsi instead of Coke). Later, I found her talking to some Pinays about her family in the Philippines. The place was full and it was very difficult to find and reserve seats... it was, of course a Sunday (day-off).

Right across us were two Pinays talking about their families they left behind. One of them was saying how her sister attended all her son's important occasions (graduation, birthdays, swearing in as a registered nurse). She wished that she could go home more often and so on and so forth. It was a bit surprising to find out that it was their first meeting and they started talking after one agreed to save their seats while the other orders food for both of them. Instant bonding. I do not know how to describe this Filipino trait.

4. When we were at The Venetian - Macau, Carol called my attention that the song playing in Duty Free Americas is in Tagalog. We went in and was greeted by a Filipino sales clerk. It was a Jimmy Bondoc song and he said it was his cellphone used as an MP3 player for the store's music. He told us that while Venetian Casino is still making money, other affiliated casinos are already losing money. He also said that a lot of Filipinos who were employed by casinos and hotels were already sent home. He said he is lucky that he is still there but his contract is up for renewal within the next few months and he is really unsure about the future. But still, he is upbeat that everything will be alright, he said while laughing a bit. He already learned how to speak some Chinese (probably Cantonese), which will make him slightly recession proof (he is now trilingual). Several Filipino traits all the same time...

5. Finally, we were going around Macau's city center, visiting World Heritage sites. We were approached by two Filipinas, they were looking for "Putol na Simbahan." You can surf the internet all day, read all the travel guides and maps, ask all the tourist information people and you will not find Putol na Simbahan in Macau. What they have is the Ruins of St. Paul's Cathedral. Only the facade of the church was left making it 'putol'. And hence, I marvel at the creativity of Filipinos.

Of course, we met so many Filipinos along the way. In Macau, we met a Filipina, we'll call her Cinderella, she's been to Macau for only three months, she was lost after boarding the wrong bus, she stayed out too late and must get back to her place before midnight but before that she must buy something from the red market. You'll easily hear Tagalog spoken in MTRs and other tourist areas, on Sundays you'll here other Filipino dialects.

And just like Adobo in Hong Kong, Filipinos will always find their way, cope and survive . with a mix of sour, sweet, salty and spicy experiences along the way.